Infertility is different for each couple whom faces it. Talking to others who have been in your shoes
is one of the hardest, but most beneficial moves you can make. You can learn of other struggles
and successes, what worked for them and how it might work for you. There are those out there with
miracle babies who wander the boards solely to provide support for those who are just beginning
their infertility journey. These forums provide emotional support when it is most needed, and when
you need someone to understand how you feel, someone who has been there, you can come to
these sites!
Infertility enacts a huge emotional toll on all of those involved, and it is completely normal to seek
support. Below are some coping skills that you can learn from some of the support forums listed as
well as some links to other infertility support forums.
|
Here are some normal responses to infertility:
-The first step in reducing the stress of infertility is to stop feeling panicky about feeling rotten!
-Another step in overcoming isolation is to build a bridge back to your family.
All but the least sensitive can be educated about infertility, and can be taught by you how to be helpful and supportive. Ask them to do
some reading on infertility. Also, be sure to let them know how you want to be treated.
-Give yourself permission to cry and be angry.
Don't try to shut off your feelings. If you need to cry about the unfairness of one more pregnancy announcement, go ahead. If you need to
pound a pillow or pummel a punching bag, do it. When you try to "snap out of it," you waste all your energy.
-Give your spouse permission to feel and cope differently than you.
If you're a wife, don't waste energy trying to get your husband to feel as devastated as you do. If you're a husband, don't try to get your wife
to be "more like a man," forgetting about infertility except when she's at the doctor's office or in the bedroom.
-Improve your communication about infertility.
You might try what I call "The Twenty Minute Rule," which forces you to limit the amount of time you talk about infertility in a given evening.
-Tell your spouse how you want to be helped.
But partners are mere humans, incapable of mind reading. If you need to pass up the family gathering that features five nieces and
nephews under two, then say so. If you want to be hugged, or massaged, or left alone for a few minutes, or just listened to without any
response, you'll be more likely to get what you want if you ask.
-Get more information.
One of the worst facets of stress is uncertainty about the future. You can't get a crystal ball, but you can reduce some of your uncertainty by
collecting information.
